They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
