a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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