Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
