wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
