That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
