so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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