He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
