Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
