You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
