I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
