My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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