what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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