Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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