Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Drunk is a universal language darling
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