Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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