i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
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this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
then he tried to convert me to islam
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
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The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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