The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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