Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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