i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
