I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
