my sisters under your porch take her home
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize