Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
