I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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