We need to rekindle our bromance
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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