You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
