I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize