party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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