He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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