my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
