what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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