i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Boobs speak an international language.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
