oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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