Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
