That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
