sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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