Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
