Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
