I'm sorry my penis didn't work
After last night, I could never be a politician.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Terrible idea I love it
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize