There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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