Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
