saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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