the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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