i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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