the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
