he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
