I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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