hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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