I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Small penises have feelings too.
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He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
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He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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