Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
