Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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