Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize