i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
