I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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