1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
