why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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