i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Every concussion has its silver lining
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
