Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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