I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm determined to sit on that face.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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