Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
