Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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