Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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