im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
