so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
