I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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