I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
