I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
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