So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
