She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
