You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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